How to Succeed in College (The 5 Badass Ways)!
Are you going to college or going to be going to college?
Let me give you this warning: you only get one shot to do right!
Who am I to say this?
I have been to several huge universities (University of
Texas and Arizona State University), I started over several times, went
to several community colleges, strictly online colleges, join all
different kind of clubs, lived in different dorms, apartments, and at my
parents while going to college, and got a Bachelors and a Masters.
Considered by many a failure at college (mainly because I went there for
so long), but ended up working a job at a very prestigious firm which
none of my peers could get into.
Later, I got a job going to major universities and
interacting with students. This included the University of Dallas,
University of California San Diego, University of San Diego, University
of California Los Angeles, and University of Southern California. I have
also worked on campus as an RA and counseled kids about their problems.
I learned things the hard way and I saw what differences made students a success or failure at college.
In short, I have seen it all!
“But wait,” you say! “I can always go back to college or
get a job first (or go to the military) and then do the whole college
thing. I don’t have to get it right the first time! And besides you said
you got a good job at the end!”
There is a problem with that (besides a ton of debt). Lets first break down why you are going to college in the first place.
Why are you Going to College?
If you answer to party and have fun…please stop reading and leave.
For the rest of you who answered to better yourself, your career, and possibly your future family: high five!
Studies have shown that going to college will better your
life. According to Time magazine, 86 percent of graduates felt the
investment was worth it. The Bureau of Labor Statistics in recent years
showed about a $20,000 annual increase in salary from just a Bachelors.
And, yes, you will probably have the most fun in college than any other
part of your life. But don’t worry, it isn’t all downhill from there.
Many studies show we are at our happiness in our 30s, 40s, 60s, and
beyond (studies show you may freak out a little in your 50s). So there
is plenty to look forward to after college. But I digress.
So statistically speaking college is worth it. But how do we make sure we are on right side of those statistics?
What I’m about to tell you is something you should apply to
EVERY aspect of your life. It is one of the ultimate secrets in life.
Ready? Really ready? Okay here it is!
If you do things the right the FIRST time around,
the results are exponentially, disproportionately, insanely, infinity+1
BETTER!
Did I emphasize it enough?
You simply won’t get the same momentum and results the second time around.
How to do College Right the First Time Around?
Lets Break it down.
1.) Do an internship! Early!
So you are 3 years deep in a 4 year degree only to find out
it is not for you. So you change majors, but it takes you another 2 to 3
more years to graduate since classes you took don’t count for anything
now.
Don’t make that same mistake.
Know what your destination is before you start college.
The only way to know for sure if your career path
is right for you is to experience it. And the classroom won’t teach you
experience. You have to get this on your own.
Best way to do this? Do an internship BEFORE college. Is
this even possible? Well, maybe not an internship in the traditional
sense, but a job in the career you want is all you need. Just working
around those people can be enough.
Here is my advice to getting a real world “internship.”
Apply the traditional way for a job in your career. If this doesn’t work out then do the following:
Call people up in the field you want to work in and explain
your situation. Tell them you will work the lowest job in the totem
pole for minimum wage. They will probably say no cause they don’t know
you. Thats fine. Follow up with a friendly email a week or two later
asking if anything has opened up. Again, it will probably be a no.
Finally, follow up one more time saying you will do it for free even if
you just sit around all day. Say that you just want to be around the
office and see how things go. At this point, you’ll probably get thirty
percent saying sure why not?
Remember these keywords when it comes to getting a job: pleasant persistence.
When should you do this? When you are still in high school! Trust me, the younger you are the more likely they will make an exception. The older you are, the more desperate you will look.
Think of what a burden off your shoulder it will be when
you start college knowing exactly what your degree and career is going
to be.
2.) Research your College (the right way)
If I even had to mention that you should be looking up
school ratings for your chosen career and comparing different numbers
for what you want out of a university, you need to get your act
together.
That kind of research is a given.
The other type of research you need to do is asking people with first hand experience. Sorry, but until news articles are tailored for specific individuals they won’t be enough information.
You could ask a student in person different questions, but you might be in a situation where that could be difficult.
Best way to find this information is on college internet forums.
Google about the differences of two universities (with one being one
you are interested in) in the same state. I find there is a wealth of
information about the cultural differences (and other fun facts you
won’t find in news articles) between those colleges. No google results?
Then just ask the forum yourself.
3.) Experience the College Before you go to College
One of the biggest mistakes I see are people dropping out
of college the first year because the college wasn’t right for them.
They lose their scholarship and any social momentum they had. They might
go to a community college later, but their first time around is ruined.
Whether a college is going to work for you or not really comes down to one things: culture.
If you don’t fit the culture, you won’t make friends. And if you don’t make friends, you just won’t last.
The best way to make sure a particular college culture is right for you is to experience it first hand.
That means going to as many orientations, summer camps, college
festivals, and even parties before you join. Even going to the local
coffee shops, and shopping areas can help you get a feel.
Once you get all this experience, you need to just do one more thing: follow your intuition.
Now combine your intuition with first hand experience
mentioned in number two and you will make a kick ass choice when it
comes to college!
4.) Use this Time to Find Yourself
Now is the time to experiment. No. Not like that.
Life doesn’t necessarily become harder after college, but
you just get less time to do stuff. Take this time now to workout, read
some self-improvement books, do some yoga, and reflect. Life is going to
become busier than ever later.
If you are working during college, try to cut down your
hours or get rid of it all together. Instead figure out how to do
college cheaper. It would be much wiser to cut down the cost of
one of the biggest purchases of your life instead of using your time to
work for probably little more than minimum wage.
There are several ways to do this, but I want to hit on one in this article: don’t do out-of-state tuition!
“But the university of my dreams is out of state!”
Okay, but there are ways to get instate tuition. You just have to work and plan for it. So start now!
Please don’t figure this out too: your time is your most valuable resource.
5.) It really is all about Networking (Your Awesome Five)
Saved the best one for last!
What is college really about? Networking. Thats the bottom line.
With the exception of technical degrees, anyone telling you different is lying.
I was listening to the Freakonomics Podcast asking the
question “Is College Worth it?” They talked to a professor who said
every student he ran into years later couldn’t remember a single thing
about his class. So what is the point of college if you don’t remember
anything from it? And how on earth does college better our society and
planet if these students don’t remember anything?
There are many reasons, but right now I want to hammer one
in. You are getting to know like minded individuals. People who value
education. People who want to do more work upfront (working on something
without getting paid) so they can reaped the benefits later. They are
long-term planner. They are people you want to align yourself with.
They are going to help lift you up to your future. Or drag you down.
Remember: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Don’t believe me? Lets look at how I failed at University
of Texas. (Great school by the way, completely my fault for not
succeeding).
University of Texas:
1.) The pot smoking roommate: thats all he did was smoke pot and have conversations about absolutely nothing.
2.) The Lazy RA: this guy would be sitting on his computer playing counter-strike 24/7 eating doritos and only taking breaks to taunt his residents.
3.) Frienemy Down the Hall: This guy would come over and act like a friend but came off very bitter. Think he was mad about not finding a girlfriend in college.
4.) Best Friend: great guy, but would belittle me in a friendly way (did the same to him). But not exactly what I needed with all these guys listed above
5.) Best Friends’ roommate: something was wrong with this guy. He would yell curse words at everyone he knew and belittle them in a very ugly way every chance he got.
1.) The pot smoking roommate: thats all he did was smoke pot and have conversations about absolutely nothing.
2.) The Lazy RA: this guy would be sitting on his computer playing counter-strike 24/7 eating doritos and only taking breaks to taunt his residents.
3.) Frienemy Down the Hall: This guy would come over and act like a friend but came off very bitter. Think he was mad about not finding a girlfriend in college.
4.) Best Friend: great guy, but would belittle me in a friendly way (did the same to him). But not exactly what I needed with all these guys listed above
5.) Best Friends’ roommate: something was wrong with this guy. He would yell curse words at everyone he knew and belittle them in a very ugly way every chance he got.
Is it really any wonder why I ended up dropping out of UT?
Now compare that to my ASU experience towards graduation.
Arizona State University:
1.) Extremely Friendly Business Student: one of my classes there was a friendly and outgoing business student who gave me some career advice. We ended up hanging out and becoming friends.
2.) Parent #1: I ended up moving home to get away from the dorm party scene. Parent #1 (aka Dad), is a career focused individual who is still logical and very kind about things.
3.) Parent #2: Mom. How I love you. Very religious and kind person. Always giving an ear for my troubles.
4.) Sister: I couldn’t believe my younger sister was going to college while I was. However, my sister is a very career oriented girl and we hung out a lot.
5.) Girls: I started to go on dates. They were all well adjusted individuals and career oriented girls. I really enjoyed my time with them.
1.) Extremely Friendly Business Student: one of my classes there was a friendly and outgoing business student who gave me some career advice. We ended up hanging out and becoming friends.
2.) Parent #1: I ended up moving home to get away from the dorm party scene. Parent #1 (aka Dad), is a career focused individual who is still logical and very kind about things.
3.) Parent #2: Mom. How I love you. Very religious and kind person. Always giving an ear for my troubles.
4.) Sister: I couldn’t believe my younger sister was going to college while I was. However, my sister is a very career oriented girl and we hung out a lot.
5.) Girls: I started to go on dates. They were all well adjusted individuals and career oriented girls. I really enjoyed my time with them.
In that situation, my GPA was so high I got automatically accepted into my Master’s program.
The point is surround yourself with supportive people, not just in college, but in all aspects of your life.
Need help finding them? You have to seek them out. Join
clubs, talk to your professors and guest speakers after class, and keep
people who already support you in your life.
One of my favorites ways of finding your five is what I did
my first day at ASU. I knocked on every door in my building and
introduced myself. I quickly found out who I wanted to get to know.
Trust me, even in a dormitory, you will be surprised how little you see
these people. Knocking on doors is the best way to make sure you do!
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In the end, enjoy college and make it badass!
How to Be So Lame That You're Actually Cool
Some people just don't have that certain je ne sais quoi to be, as
they say, 'cool'. But if you are lame enough, you could be so lame that
you actually are quite awesome. It is not hard, just follow these simple
steps.
How to Be So Lame That You're Actually Cool
Edited by Katie M, Beckie and 16 others
Steps
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1First of all, you need to get the right idea of what you want to be, exactly. Napoleon Dynamite is the basic picture. He is the lamest person ever, yet he is extreme cool. Be more like him, and you'll do fine.Ad -
2There are a few types of lame that are awesome: -Nerdy (lots of plaid, big glasses, suspenders) -Sophis-lame (Blazers, briefcases) -Regular un-cool (Plain, not very attractive, with what would seem like rather lame hobbies/interests) If you can figure out what you want to be, or what you already are, you'll do very well in this. -
3Once you know what you want to be like, buy the materials you need. Rummage through your attic for your parent's old clothes, or go to lots of thrift stores. Chances are, you'll find some pretty good clothes from the '70s, '80s, which is ideal. -
4Start doing your thing. Get your trademark, and rock it.
Tips
- Don't be afraid of intelligence. Most people really respect it, and it just builds your image all the better.
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Don't be shy at all. It is the most important thing to talk to as
many people as possible. They will see how awesome you are. You don't
necessarily have to go up to them, sometimes people will talk to you,
especially at the beginning of a school year, or at a new school.
They will see how awesome you are when they meet you, if you just keep to yourself you might come off as a weirdo. - Learn how to play the harmonica and/or ukulele, or else find another uncommon instrument. With the right attitude, electric guitar works, too. Also, say 'gee-tar', as opposed to 'gih-tar' when you say guitar.)
- Start saying really uncommon words. Not ones that 'cool' people would stereotypically say (like gangsta talking or lots of curses), but ones from a while back (like 'nifty', 'blast', or 'gosh'). Ask your parents what they said when they were youngsters. Think lame words and you'll do fantastic.
- Remember: Lame is cool.
- Don't be embarrassed about your new digs. Wear them, live them, and let them build your awesomeness.
- Don't worry! Just be awesomely nerdy but rockstar cool!
Warnings
- Careful that you don't go way over the top. If you act too out there, people may fear you and want to distance themselves. Find a perfect level.
- This is made typically for guys, but it works for girlies too. Girls work best as nerdy, but try what you like.
- Don't attempt if you have no sense of humor. You don't have to be funny, per se (course it wouldn't hurt) but uber serious people can't always pull this off.
- Avoid staying in. Go out for lunches, weekends, or whatever else. Just because you;re trying to be lame, doesn't mean that you should be unsocial.
Things You'll Need
- Sense of humor
- Some money (not a lot, because thrift stores are very cheap, most of the time)
- Confidence (if you feel insecure, it won't work.)
How to Get Rid of Social Anxiety
Edited by Teresa, Glutted, Heather Clark, Humble Pie and 25 othersSocial anxiety is fairly common. It's stressful because we all need social interaction as part of our daily lives but if we are denied this through fear, we begin to feel a range of uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings. Here are some steps that can help you manage social anxiety.
Steps
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1See a therapist. Explain to them how you react in social situations. They could help you with your individual issues and they can help you progress. If you can't afford a therapist you can do it on your own, with research.Ad -
2It is important to start more slowly and gradually work up gently to the place you'd like to be. We always use cognitive (re-thinking) methods and strategies first to provide the person with a foundation of new thinking skills and anti-anxiety strategies that are beginning to "sink down" deeply into the brain so that they become a habit or an automatic behavior. We feel therapy is much more successful if these cognitive strategies are learned and deeply dropped into the brain first. Then, when a person feels less social anxiety and a little more confident, they decide to move into the social anxiety therapy group where changes in behaviors are worked on more directly. However, we make it a rule that no one is ever forced, challenged, or urged to do anything they don't feel like doing in the group. The motivation and impetus must come directly from the person with social anxiety. We have found this approach to group therapy to be most effective -
3Do something what you are scared to do. Although it may seem cliché but it is really effective and works most of the the time(almost immediately). People don't do what they are scared to do because they perceive it as negative, for example if you want to spread your arms wide in front of people then who is stopping you? whats the worst that could happen? and what are the rewards you may get? if you doubt it, then think and write down the answers to these questions. Be true to yourself, don't exaggerate and don't lie.
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4Challenge yourself. It is an effective way to push yourself. When you feel that doing something will make you feel confident and excited, but cant do it because of anxiety, then at the same time challenge yourself, for example 'I dare you to put yourself in an awkward situation and make a fool of yourself' another example would be 'Go to that girl/guy and talk to him/her, even if it doesn't make any sense'. Remember, don't curse or beat yourself even if you fail the challenge, in fact give yourself a reward for even trying. -
5Try to change the perception of the anxiety. Ask yourself, what do you do when you feel anxious? probably panic, sweat, increased rate of heartbeat etc. It happens because you perceive anxiety as a negative cue. Instead if you perceive it as a cue to do something scary and challenging, you are going to fix this anxiety problem even more quickly. For example when next time you feel anxious, instead of taking it as a negative cue, use it as a trigger to do something scary, for example doing dance right there and at the same time(without thinking) when you feel anxious. Basically do anything which you feel is scary and challenging for you. -
6Swearing. Swearing also helps to motivate you to do something scary. For example saying 'F^%* it, I m doing it' produces an internal force to drive you to do something. Its because bad words are powerful and have emotions attached to it, which is one of the reason they are powerful. Research has proven that bad words are the precipitate of us becoming what we want to be. -
7Music. Music has the power to act as a catalyst to make you fight anxiety. Listen to some inspiring (or anything you like but try not to listen to sad)music and then try to use any of the methods above. -
8On a scale of 1-10 (1 being most comfortable with, 10 makes me panic!) write out social events and activities that make you anxious chronologically on the scale. Start with the numbers you feel most comfortable with and work your way up. Go at your own pace but do not wait until next year to reach number two. And if you are going to face something big, like public speaking, practice beforehand. Practice in the mirror; then with your family or friends; then, if you can, borrow a small audience; and, last but not least, speak at the big event. Work your way up. -
9When you face a situation that makes you anxious, you need to be aware of your self talk. There are some key steps you must follow.... -
10Self acceptance: you need to focus on telling yourself that you love yourself and love your anxiety. This may sound weird but rather than being afraid of the anxiety you are embracing it which creates a sense of peace and allows you to slowly conquer it. If you can forgive others, you need to be able to forgive yourself. Don't hold a grudge against yourself because you didn't do as well as you hoped. Give yourself time and room for mistakes. Love yourself. -
11Practice relaxing your body: Is your heart beating fast? Take slow deep breaths. Are your muscles tensing up? Let go. Imagine yourself in your mind letting go of all your burdens and worries (memorizing some peaceful or wise saying on these subjects that build confidence). Sometimes yoga or meditation have sayings that work well for this visualization. Sitting in a chair and working head to toe on relaxing your muscles by tensing and releasing. Read about this method if you have tension problems. -
12Pull yourself out of the state you're in. Bring yourself back to reality when you feel yourself getting worked up. Your mind is rolling in circles about how you feel, your level of comfort, and whether others notice or not. You need to focus more on the task at hand--on one track if you have to. Focus on the task or what's in front of you rather than the level of comfort your body experiences in your mind. Also, think about how the other person feels from their shoes. Care more about them than your own thoughts. -
13Break yourself out of the mold and self image you are telling yourself you must keep, you know, the one that says you are shy and everyone will find you awkward. Have you ever just been silly and loose around those you are close to? Then why can't you do it around people you aren't as close to? Just because you feel you fit a role or image, it doesn't mean you have to remain that way. Break free from it even if for moments at a time. -
14Sometimes people leave us with ambiguous impressions in verbal and/or nonverbal reactions. Practice looking for the positive meaning to what they could have meant rather than the negative. Don't imagine everything is about you either. They might have meant it about themselves or someone else. If someone is rude to you it might just mean they are having a bad day and it has nothing to do with you. Practice as often as you can to catch yourself when thinking negatively. Redirect your thoughts to anything positive you can get out of the situation. -
15Know that overcoming social anxiety will have its good and bad days. Sometimes you will feel you are making great progress while on other days you feel like a sinking ship. It will fluctuate like the stock market. But as long as you continue trying and keep positive people and relationships in your life to support you, your results will increase overtime. -
16After you face a difficult situation give yourself a reward. Grab a fudge sundae with whipped cream & cherries, or a hot bubble bath. Anything that makes you happy but is good for you, do it. -
17Stay active, do not allow yourself to think so much. Thinking can do more harm than good if you obsess on worries. Write down how to fix them and stop thinking from there. Find hobbies and things to occupy your mind. Sports, walking, jogging etc. can release pent up anxieties because it increase endorphins and is good for your health. Everyone should spend 10-50 minutes a day working out. And maybe 10 minutes at least meditating or praying plus listening to relaxing music. -
18Realize that you are not the only one who feels anxious. Most people are shy to a degree and face anxieties. It's one of the most common feelings people have. Don't beat yourself up about being abnormal. Many people have felt the uncomfortable feelings that you do. -
19If you are around someone who is bubbly, charismatic and outgoing, pick up their personality as much as you can and pretend you are them. Faking a feeling that you may not have felt gets you in the mood. -
20Accomplishing goals will build your self esteem and image therefore helping you also to overcome some shyness. -
21Read about small talk, & practice, alone at first, then with someone you feel comfortable with, then work your way up to people you don't know. Practicing and being prepared makes a HUGE difference. Find topics that you are interested in and have knowledge with which to talk about to others. It will be easier then to carry on the conversation. Asking questions is helpful too. -
22Realize that social anxiety is often just a perception, a habit formed. You'll never completely get rid of all anxiety for the rest of your life. Most people have anxiety to a degree; it's a basic emotion. In fact, some anxiety before an important event or performance helps boost your energy level and alertness. It is when the anxiety becomes overwhelming and obstructs performance rather than helping it that it becomes a problem. But you CAN overcome much. Just take the steps.
Tips
- Stop worrying about what people think of you. Be positive!
- Be aware of your appearance and what your style says about you. Dressing well and maintaining good standards of hygiene will make a favourable impression. Knowing that you look good will make you feel good too. Although, if you are someone who is afraid to go anywhere looking less than perfect and you spend too much time on your appearance, try going out in public without makeup or dressing up. Very liberating!
- Dont wait say it now and be happy today people dont feel your shyness only you do good luck.
- You’re the expert of your life. Choose the ones that will work best for you, and give them a shot. The key is to take action today!
- It’s much easier to get rid of your social anxiety when you know the exact steps you need to take.
Warnings
- Being shy may cause you to feel limited regarding the friends you make. DO NOT allow toxic people to stay in your life. If you feel like they bring you down and the cost of having them in your life is worse than the benefit, then make a choice to end the friendship. You may be lonely for a while but this loneliness will push you to make new friends. As part of overcoming your shyness you must get out and meet new people. You can do this through work, family, other friends, joining a club, etc. Do not limit yourself to everyone who comes your way.
- The majority of the time prescription drugs are not the cure for social anxiety because, usually, it is just a bad habit rather than a bad gene. You can use prescriptions temporarily, but do not make them a lifelong practice. It's not good to become dependent on drugs as a crutch because it won't solve the problem.
- Becoming dependent on alcohol or drugs will only make your anxiety worse. Using it as a crutch will NEVER allow you to face and overcome your fear. And the hangover only exacerbates your anxiety or any other negative feelings you may have! Drinking one or two drinks once in a while is OK but it will not truly help you overcome the anxiety.
- Before facing anything that makes you anxious, avoid coffee and other drinks that contain caffeine. Energy drinks can make you feel good at first but eventually heighten anxiety. If these actually work for you though for some reason, then ignore the first two sentences.
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